Dumb Blond Jokes

Helping Pet Lovers Since 1999 Forums Pet Jokes Dumb Blond Jokes

This topic contains 115 replies, has 35 voices, and was last updated by  rmcallister 9 years, 4 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 91 through 105 (of 116 total)
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  • #569767

    missy0ul0ve
    Participant

    lol.. when i first heard it, it took a couple minutes for it to sink in too, so dont feel too bad

    #569739

    DragonSpirit
    Participant

    Ahhh!! I love these jokes even though I’m blonde!! They make me laugh anyways. I loved em!!

    It made my night. ๐Ÿ™‚

    #569764

    buggles
    Participant

    By the way this is a dumb blonde men joke

    Ok. So there are three people working on a roof a blonde, a brunette and a red head and they have there lunch.The first one says if I get a sandwich 1 more time im going to jump offf this roof!ANd the others agreed to do the same.

    The next day they all get sandwiches and they all jump off the roof.At the brunette and the red heads funeral the wives are crying very sad. But at the blonde’s funeral his wive is not crying so one person asks why aren’t you crying? and she says he packed his own lunch lol!

    #569666

    S t e p h
    Participant

    Lmao!:laughing:

    #569768

    missy0ul0ve
    Participant

    the sandwich joke i heard it as a polish joke… but i think i like it better as a blonde joke lol.

    another one to add idk if it’s on here previously or not, but n e who

    how can you tell that there has been a blonde on your computer writting a paper?

    there’s white out on the screen.

    #569679

    daddysgurl9245
    Participant

    Heeheehee!

    #569765

    buggles
    Participant

    I have a ton I ll post otheres but this is 9 of them ๐Ÿ™‚

    Top 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes
    Yes, the top 10 blonde jokes of all time!



    Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
    Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!



    The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

    “Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”



    A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

    “Where did you get that?”
    The pig replied,
    “I won her in a raffle!”



    A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

    Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

    She showed him the instructions on the tin,

    “For best results, put on two coats”.



    Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
    First Blonde:

    “I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!
    Second Blonde:
    Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!



    Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

    The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

    “I think they could be bird tracks.”

    The second blonde went to look and said,

    “No, I think these are deer tracks.”

    They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!



    A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

    “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”



    A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

    “You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”



    A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.

    Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

    “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”
    But the blonde insisted saying,
    “No. A bet’s a bet.”

    Then the redhead said

    “Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”

    The blonde replied

    “Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”

    #569769

    missy0ul0ve
    Participant

    @buggles 700100 wrote:

    A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.

    Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

    “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”
    But the blonde insisted saying,
    “No. A bet’s a bet.”

    Then the redhead said

    “Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”

    The blonde replied

    “Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”

    I like that one… nice. lol

    #569770

    Harmony96
    Participant

    omg keep em’ coming i want more!!!!!
    i loved the last joke
    But all of them where SOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!
    im a blonde myself and i always have been but i just laugh at myself cause i know im not a dumb blonde like the jokes say.
    Although it’s not as though the jokes are saying.
    Your blonde your dumb haha.
    But there funny so keep them coming people!

    #569662

    Bilbo12
    Participant

    @missy0ul0ve 694463 wrote:

    idk if it was already posted but i had one that my dad used to say all the time…

    did you hear about the blonde with big square b–bs?

    she forgot to take the tissues out of the box;)

    Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!

    #569658

    bubbles11
    Participant

    Ahh, hilarious.
    Why did the blonde have T.G.I.F. written all over her shoes?
    Toes Go In First

    #569680

    daddysgurl9245
    Participant

    HAHAHA! Whenever I hear someone say T.G.I.F again, I’m gonna say “Toes go in first?”

    #569668

    clearblu
    Participant

    7 DEGREES OF BLONDE

    `ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:
    FIRST DEGREE
    A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

    `ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:
    SECOND DEGREE
    Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.” The second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!”

    `ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-
    THIRD DEGREE
    A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!!” The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

    `ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:
    FOURTH DEGREE
    A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.” A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.”

    `ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:
    FIFTH DEGREE
    What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? “Is it mine?”
    `ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-

    SIXTH DEGREE
    Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, “That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware”

    `ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:-.,_,.-:*ยด`ยด*:
    SEVENTH DEGREE
    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on t he steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.”

    #569730

    Mistwraith
    Participant

    Oh my goodness, those are so funny!

    #569667

    S t e p h
    Participant

    :laughing:


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